Im Upset My Ex Is Having a Baby

How to cope when your ex has a baby with his new partner

How practice y'all cope when your ex hubby announces he'south expecting a baby with his new partner?

During her offset week in the house, Kristina Rihanoff dropped a pregnancy bombshell on her fellow CBB housemates (and viewers at habitation!).

She told them: "In that location was something [that] happened in my life before I came into the house over Christmas.

"And obviously I thought information technology'southward very private news, you know but because we are living as one family unit now and everybody is sort of supporting 1 another now.

"It happened to exist that I found that my boyfriend and I are going to have a petty one."

Kristina then went on to reveal that she is three months pregnant with Ben Cohen'south babe.

It has since been reported that Abigail, who is the mother of Ben's twin daughters, wasn't enlightened of Kristina's pregnancy before the very public declaration.

Ben and Abigail, who were teenage sweethearts, announced they were splitting in September 2014 - less than a twelvemonth after he appeared alongside Kristina on Strictly Come Dancing.

Abigail previously hinted that an thing between Ben and Kristina had been the cause of their separation.

She said: "My married man who I was with for 23 years and unconditionally loved and was completely loyal to in every respect had left me for a f***ing Russian dancer.

"The final two years accept been the near traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.

"He's done the dirty on me and I want people to know."

And so how do you cope when your ex is having a infant with their new partner?

Divorce coach Sara Davison says: "When yous walk down the aisle and say your nuptials vows the last thing you ever expect to be dealing with is your husband having a babe with another adult female. I should know as this happened to me.

"This kind of revelation hits you hard and tin can leave the strongest of people reeling."

She continued: "The sense of rejection and loss can be paralysing. Others may be relieved that their ex has constitute happiness elsewhere and experience a sense of liberty to move on guilt free. But, all the same you lot feel about the news, you accept a new state of affairs to navigate and this is more challenging if you have children with your ex.

"This is life irresolute for your children, as they volition now have a one-half brother or sister in their lives. They will have another family unit that they are part of and relationships that you will probably never really know much about unless you are on skilful terms with your ex and new partner.

"My advice in these situations is always the same: do the correct thing for your children. I know this can exist extremely hard to practice equally its natural to exist angry and hurt and to non want your children to be part of any other family. Yet you are the adult and need to exist a good role model for your child.

"Recollect they are learning from how yous react to situations and volition accept these lessons forward with them for life."

Sara Davison'south top tips on how to cope when your ex has a child with a new partner:

• Keep whatever negative feelings and thoughts away from your children. You don't want them to feel guilty for building a relationship with their half sibling as this could be damaging for them.

• Shift your focus away from your ex and his partner to you and your life. If you lot start to create an exciting futurity for yourself you volition be able to cope better with the upcoming changes.

• Exist realistic. Your children love you and this won't change because a new baby arrives.

• Don't take information technology personally. It is natural that your children are excited about having a new brother or sister and not a reflection on how they feel about your or their life with you.

• Aim for what I telephone call a "functionally friendly" relationship with your ex and his partner. It's not always possible for many reasons to exist best of friends, and in some cases where someone has betrayed you lot or treated you badly I won't even propose this, every bit boundaries are key to your recovery. Yet it is possible to rising to a higher place any tensions when you lot are together to enable it to be amicable for the children'south sake.

• If you lot are devastated so you need to get some aid to move forrard. This does not have to be painful for long and should not define how you feel about yourself or how yous live the rest of your life. You too are entitled to happiness and sometimes you demand professional assistance from your GP or Divorce Coach to help you get back on track.

• Plan alee when the children are staying with your ex and then that you have things to go along you busy. Book in activities that you savor and brand you laugh. Sometimes you need to do something drastic to change your state of listen like aerobics or ice-skating to properly break your negative land of heed.

Sara adds: "Eventually you may come to see this as a good thing in your life, still hard it is to imagine at present. Whatever happens you cannot alter the situation then in that location is no point letting it control you and your feelings.

"Don't waste time and energy worrying about people and things you cannot control. The key to coping is to focus on you and creating a hereafter for you and yous children that you are all excited virtually.

"You lot only live once so brand the most of information technology."

Sara Davison is an expert interruption-up, separation and divorce omnibus who developed the United kingdom'due south first Divorce Coaching program which provides individuals with the tools, techniques and communication needed to aid individuals navigate and better cope with the process of divorce.

For more information on Sara, or to book a 1 to one consultation, logon to her website www.saradavison.com or follow her on Facebook (Sara Davison Divorce Coaching), Twitter (@SDDivorcecoach) and Instagram (SaraDavisonDivorceCoach).

Book yourself on her adjacent suspension-upward Retreat from the 19th – 20th of February 2016 via her website.

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Im Upset My Ex Is Having a Baby

Source: https://closeronline.co.uk/family/news/divorce-family-support-advice-baby-kristina-rihanoff-ben-cohen/